I Found
by bravevulnerability
Summary: Inspired by the prompt: "Beckett gets to know Castle while he's married to Gina." Pre series AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Inspired by the prompt: "Beckett gets to know Castle while he's married to Gina." Originally a fill for Tumblr that grew into a story of its own.**

* * *

 _"I found love where it wasn't supposed to be_  
 _Right in front of me_  
 _Talk some sense to me"_

 _-I Found, Amber Run_

* * *

She drops the manuscript on his desk with a loud slap. It has his fingers startling over the keys of his laptop, his attention snapping out of the story and up to his publisher.

"I see the writer's block has passed," Gina states, something that would usually thrill her, but she looks far from happy about the progress. Instead, she nods to the pile. "Here's my notes."

Rick's brow furrows as he glances to the papers, what he now assumes must be the printed pages of the chapters he just finished. He turned them into her two nights ago, feeling so accomplished for beating his deadline.

"I thought you preferred emailing them back to me," he murmurs, the confusion spreading. Why does she look so _mad_ at him?

"I thought this batch deserved handwritten care," Gina sneers and Rick closes his laptop.

"Gina, what's going on? I thought you'd be happy that I'm _ahead_ of schedule for once," he points out, feeling her irritation growing, seeping through his senses. "Do you not like the direction it took? Or was there something else that I didn't-"

"Why don't you look at my critiques," she cuts him off, her eyes darting insistently down at the pages.

Rick huffs and grabs the papers, begins flipping through them, his fingers slowing as his eyes register over the words. Not hers. No, there's not a single red-penned mark on the crisp, white sheets.

These words are all his.

"Where did you get this?" he whispers, his grip tightening, wrinkling the pages. "Did you go through my laptop?"

"Yes, I did," Gina confirms without hesitation or shame. "I knew you'd never cheat on me, not after that first wife of yours. But you and that cop…"

"We are _just_ friends," he growls, returning the papers face down to his desk.

"You do not write about a _friend_ like that," Gina hisses, digging her manicured, pink nail into the back of a page. "God, Richard, it's so obvious. This character, this _Nikki Heat_ , is her and you write about her like she's the eighth wonder of the world."

His jaw tightens, but he can't exactly deny that now, can he? Especially when Gina knows his writing better than anyone else.

"Are you in love with her?" she asks, the question leaving her lips like it's nothing, like it's the most ordinary question in the world.

Did you do the dishes? Have you finished the chapter yet? Are you in love with the cop you've been shadowing for six months?

The cop with the dead mother and the elusive smile that's been making fleeting but frequent appearances for him. The rookie who is so hardened by grief but has slowly began to soften through late night talks over decaf coffee and lunch dates at Remy's, a handful of dinners with his daughter. The woman who enraptured him with her gorgeous eyes the moment they met while she was working a stint in Vice.

He was doomed from that very second, wasn't he?

But Kate has always known that he's married and he never let himself forget. As Gina herself pointed out, he's been cheated on before and he would never show anyone else the same betrayal. Gina is a good wife, a good publisher, a good surrogate mother to Alexis whenever he stopped trying to keep his daughter all too himself. It's something he's trying hard to work on, a flaw within himself that Gina continues to point out, that he's doing his best to fix. Always working on something for her.

Relationships _are_ work, he's always known that and he's always been willing to put in whatever effort necessary. But shouldn't _some_ parts be effortless? Wasn't loving someone also supposed to be easy too? He's never been able to feel that in his last three and a half years with Gina. And god, he's tried, has been trying for so long, but it's as if they're a puzzle with a piece missing.

So why is it so easy to feel it with Kate Beckett?

"Richard," she prompts, crossing her arms with impatience.

"I - I don't know," he confesses, even though he does. He didn't mean to, tried so very hard not to, but his heart leapt into Kate's hands months ago, willed her to hold onto it.

Even though she doesn't want it, or just won't admit to wanting it. Her eyes flicker to his wedding band every time he thinks she starts to let herself.

"It was an accident. We're just friends, never been more. Not even close," he swears, not that it helps. Doesn't change the fact that he has feelings for someone other than the woman he's married to.

He meets Gina's cold glare, but he can read her well enough to see that she does believe that. And, apparently, she found nothing on his computer that caused her to think otherwise. Nothing, except thousands of words about a smart, savvy detective whom he seems to describe with an affection that's all too telling.

"But it's over now anyway. She doesn't want me shadowing her anymore."

Gina's brow arches. "Why?"

Because, apparently, everyone figures out how he feels before he himself is even clear on it, he wants to say. But also-

"There was a case last week with a suspect who pulled a gun and - and it just got too risky," he recalls, remembering the horror on her face as she stared up at him from the ground, scanning his body for the bullet he almost took for her. "Scared her."

It was more than a risky gunfight, though. It was the hours that followed. It was standing in an alley just outside the crime scene with her eyes too bright and a rasp lacing through her words.

"There's something I need you to do."

He took a step closer to her, ready for whatever she asked of him. "Name it."

"I need you to go home," she murmured, shoving her hands into her pockets and lowering he gaze to the dirty concrete. "And stay home."

"Forget it," he answered without hesitation. "Beckett, I'm fine. We're both fine, the bullet-"

"Was too close," she finished for him, her eyes rising to meet his with a hard glare. "Castle, you're - you matter to me." His heart skipped. He went from an annoying tagalong to mattering and he hated how much it mattered to him, how much she mattered. "Which is why I can't keep letting you put yourself in danger. You've already done enough research for a hundred books-"

"It's not about the books," he argued, watching the elegant line of her throat work through a swallow that disappeared beneath that damn NYPD turtleneck that he too often pictured nudging out of the way with his nose, devouring the skin beneath with his mouth. "Not anymore."

"Then why do you keep coming back, Rick?" She knew exactly what she was asking, knew the consequences of an honest answer. But he still lifted a tentative hand to her cheek, stroked his thumb to the slash of her cheekbone, surprised that she let him. It was his first time touching her like this; it was the last.

"You know why."

Kate's eyes fluttered shut and she curled her fingers around the wrist at her jaw. He held his breath as she rested her cheek in the embrace of his palm before squeezing his wrist and stepping away from him, her eyes already mourning.

"Goodbye, Castle."

He hasn't seen her since and he hasn't been so miserable in a long time.

"Explains the constant moping," Gina mumbles, brushing back a stray strand of hair with a flick of her wrist, trying so hard to be indifferent. To hide how much he's probably hurt her.

"Gina," he sighs, pushing back from his desk to stand. "Regardless of it all, I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. As soon as I felt… compromised, I should have stopped going to the precinct, I should have-"

"Are you in love with me?"

His heart stumbles at the question, sinks.

"I - of course I love you," he murmurs, but his wife shakes her head.

"They're two different things, Richard." Her eyes fall to his desk. "But you already know that."

His mouth feels dry, tongue too thick in his mouth.

"I know you love me," she continues, chest rising and falling with a deep breath, steeling herself. "But we never quite fit, did we?"

He notices her shift into past tense, knows it's purposeful.

"I - we could try counseling," he suggests, even as the rock in his stomach weighs heavier at the idea.

"I'd rather we quit trying to fool ourselves. Our marriage has been nice, convenient, but we both know it's been over. Even before your precious Nikki Heat came into the picture," she mutters, but he lets her have it, lets her hit him with the strike of bitterness. He deserves it. "I'm going to stay with my sister. We can talk to Alexis about all of this a little later. Together. You owe me that much," she adds with a narrowed look before casting it back down to the papers on his desk. "In the meantime, be sure to sift through those pages."

 _We'll talk to Alexis together._

Shit, he's not ready to tell his daughter, to let her down again.

Castle opens his mouth to respond, but Gina is already turning her back on him, striding out of the room with her head held too high. He watches her go, heart in his throat and guilt drenching his insides.

Rick glances down to the stack of pages, lifting them once more to scan through the pile of black and white sheets until he reaches the end, the slim addition of papers that have a different feel to them, can't be his writing. No, he withdraws the files, these definitely aren't pages from his laptop's word documents.

They're divorce papers.


	2. Chapter 2

She misses him.

It's been nearly a month since it struck her like the bullet he almost took for her just how important Rick Castle has become to her. He already mattered too much - her favorite author, the man whose words help keep her head above water when she's drowning in her mother's murder, the hopelessness of it. But over the span of the last six months, he definitely became more than just a writer to her.

Kate absentmindedly stirs the sludge of her coffee with a spoon, already aware that it'll taste nothing like the lattes she fell into the habit of accepting from him every morning.

It's a good thing that she told him goodbye when she did, that he listened for once and stayed away. He became more than her favorite author, but he was also becoming more than a friend, more than a partner she was never supposed to have, and she can't have that. Her true first priority of her mother's case aside, Castle is off limits. He's married and no matter how she may feel about him, however he may feel about her, she won't be the one to wreck a relationship, let alone a solid marriage.

Her morals fail to stop her from missing him.

She drops the spoon into the break room sink and raises the cup to her lips.

It won't be as bad as losing Royce. No, she'll never be stupid enough to throw herself at a man like that again, to fall for someone who never actually felt the same. She still cringes at the thought.

That's the greatest difference, though, isn't it? Royce treated her like a girl with a crush, never taking her - the idea of them - seriously. Castle looked at her like she was the most serious thing in the world; he looked at her the way she once looked at Royce. Like he could be in love with her.

Kate squeezes her eyes shut and takes a tentative sip of her coffee.

Good that he's gone, she reminds herself. He's married to another woman and she's engaged to the case that defines her, there's no room for anything else, for the idea of love or anything in between. She was a fool for ever entertaining the idea of otherwise.

The too bitter liquid spills across her tongue and Kate frowns, pulls the mug away from her lips in disdain. Ugh, she's got to get better at this.

She tosses the full cup of crap coffee down the drain and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. She'll just grab a coffee on the streets in a couple of hours when Vice has her-

An arm reaches past her, depositing a steaming to go cup on the counter in front of her.

She doesn't have to look to know who it is; she can already smell his aftershave, feel his familiar warmth at her back. Her gaze falls to the hand lingering next to the cup, mournfully seeking the stomach twisting sight of his wedding band. But his left hand appears bare.

Kate swallows hard and turns to face him.

Rick Castle is waiting with a hesitant smile, tired eyes that still manage to shine for her.

"Hey, Beckett," he murmurs, his voice rich, decadent to her senses after over four weeks without it.

"Your wedding ring," she blurts, like an idiot. No 'hi, how are you?' or even a 'why are you here?', instead, she goes straight for the most uncomfortable approach. At this rate, she'll make a great detective.

But apparently, it was the response he was expecting, prepared for.

"We're in the middle of the divorce," he shrugs, watching her closely, nervously. She rarely sees him get nervous, but when she does, it's always because of her. She took pride in the fact before, that she could make the infamous Richard Castle waver with apprehension, but now, it just causes the anxiety to spread to her as well. "It wasn't - it's long overdue, honestly. Something we both agreed on."

Her heart is a snarled thing in her chest, guilt and traitorous hope entwining to leave her breathless.

"But…" Too many thoughts, questions, are fighting for attention on her tongue, but one, of blue eyes and red hair, prevails. "What about Alexis?"

His entire demeanor softens. "I was worried about her too, but so far she's taking it really well and I plan to keep an eye on her, let her see Gina whenever she wants. If it's what she wants." He shrugs. "She misses you, by the way, and hopes you've been successfully continuing to kick ass and take names."

She huffs at that. "You sure that part is from Alexis?"

"My kid takes your levels of badassery very seriously," he reasons, but the grin curling at his lips is giving him away. "As do I."

"Uh huh," she smirks, leaning back against the counter's edge before she catches herself, bites down on the upturned curve of her bottom lip. He makes it feel so normal, so easy to just go back to the way they were. The smile begins to slip from his face, hers nothing more than an echo across her lips. Kate crosses her arms, holds his gaze. "What are you doing here, Castle?"

HIs throat bobs, adam's apple quivering. "I figured you could use a good cup of coffee." Her eyes narrow. "And, well, I missed you."

She inhales a shallow breath through her nose, ignores the way his words make her heart clench. "It doesn't matter. Nothing's changed, I'm not comfortable with you risking your life for the sake of being a shadow. It's too dangerous."

Rick purses his lips, but surprises her with the conceding nod of his head. She didn't expect him to cave so easily.

"And what about with you?" he asks, tugging her brow into a crease and her mouth into a frown. "I can accept having to give up working with you, but I - I don't want to give you up, Kate."

He takes a step closer and she flicks her eyes down to his mouth before forcing them to check past his shoulder. But the break room door is almost completely shut, blocking them from the bullpen's view.

"You just ended a serious relationship," she murmurs, shaking her head. "You can't just-"

"What's the usual waiting time to date again after getting divorced without it being considered a rebound then?" he rephrases, quirking an eyebrow at her.

Kate gnaws on her bottom lip, tries to think past the pound of her heart too loud in her chest. "At least a month after said divorce is finalized."

But what is she even saying? Why is she giving both him and herself false hope when she knows better? _Dating_? He would never survive dating her.

Although, he faired those last six months with her impressively well…

"Sounds fair," Castle decides.

"Rick-"

"Kate," he parrots, inching another step closer, the space left between them toeing the line of inappropriate for two people who are just friends. "I know we both have a lot of baggage-"

"You think?" she mutters, pressing her forearms hard into her diaphragm and watching his lips twitch. "We're - they're different types of baggage."

He tilts his head at her. "And?"

"And it's-" she struggles, hates the flicker of amusement it elicits in his gaze. "I need to solve my mom's case," she insists, lowering her voice as she feels the familiar desperation of it clawing at the insides of her chest. "You know that."

All traces of amusement abandon his eyes. "I do. And I still want to help, be your partner in that."

"I still don't _want_ your help," she sighs, rolling her eyes at this recurring argument that he can't seem to accept defeat on.

"But you want me?" he counters with a hopeful raise of his brow.

Her cheeks get hot. "How did you get _that_ out of this discussion?"

He plays it off with a grin, but she catches his eyes losing some of their light. He'll push her in everything else, relishes seeing how far she'll let him go, but when it comes to this, to them… he seems to be just as uncertain, afraid, as she feels.

"Wishful thinking," he muses, leaning back on his heels, prepared to take a step back from her. Letting her go.

Kate grabs his hand before he can, purposely hooking her thumb around his fourth finger. He lets her have it, curling his fingers into his palm to stay hers.

"I didn't…" She attempts a deep breath, attempts to weigh the pros and cons of going against all of the logic and reasonings built up in her head since she met him. She attempts to keep protecting her heart instead of risking it in that moment. "I didn't say no."

She fails. But the instant burst of bright blue surprise through his eyes has her thinking that failure can be pretty beautiful.

"But," she adds hastily, squeezing his hand, the tangle of their fingers. "I'm still not ready to just-"

"Me neither," he jumps in with a relieved smile spilling across his lips. "I'm willing to wait, Beckett. The required three months or longer. But-"

"But?" she echoes with an arch of her eyebrow.

"Does that mean I have to completely stay away from you the whole time? Because I don't know if I'm capable," he admits, the curve of his mouth turning sheepish.

Kate's gaze falls to the twined mess of their hands, her thumb brushing along the naked skin of his ring finger.

"No more gunfights," she murmurs, eyes rising to meet the excitement filling his. "But I don't think Montgomery would mind if you kept shadowing me for a few more cases."

"Again, reasonable conditions," he concurs, but he's hardly playing it cool anymore, beaming at her instead.

"And no looking at me like that while we're at work," she huffs, pinching the webbing between his thumb and forefinger.

"I'll do my best, but it's really hard not to when I have a date in three months to look forward to."

"Never agreed to that," she counters, but he doesn't waver.

"Fine, just knowing you want me is enough."

"I never _said_ -"

Castle leans in, closer than he's ever been before, eye to eye with her thanks to the heels of her boots. Her expression remains neutral, but her mouth goes a little dry at the heat of his breath caressing her cheek, the press of their hands into her thigh.

She holds his gaze, watching the swirl of need darken the blues of his irises. She's never seen it up close before, just how much she can affect him, never knew just how badly he could get to her.

"Kinda did." He strokes his thumb along her knuckles before releasing her hand and taking a step back, giving her space she isn't sure she wants anymore. "Now, stop arguing with me and drink your coffee before it gets cold."

"Castle." He pauses in his pivot towards the break room door, brow rising in acknowledgement, the traces of a smile still clinging to his lips. "I'm glad you came back."

He doesn't look at her the way she looked at Royce, she realizes. It scares her, has her insides twisting up into knots, but the way he's staring back at her now, smile on his lips and lighting up his eyes… she has a feeling this is what being in love actually looks like.

"Me too, Kate."

It's going to be a long three months.


	3. Chapter 3

The day his divorce is finalized, he hands her a piece of paper, folded and slid into her palm like they're kids passing notes in class. But there's nothing scandalous hidden inside the page, just a handful of numbers separated by a dash and three simple words written in his blocky handwriting.

 _It's a date?_

The question is added just below the number indicating an exact month from today's date. It's been two months since he returned to the precinct with coffee and a bare left hand, with his heart on his sleeve and a proposition on his tongue.

Kate marks her calendar, feeling silly for it, like a girl with a stupid crush all over again, but it doesn't stop the quirk of her lips as she writes his name.

She hands the note back to him the next day in exchange for her coffee.

 _Yes._

The month passes slowly, but he's giddy for the entirety of those thirty days, looking far too thrilled to see her every morning, whether he's joining her at the precinct or meeting her at a crime scene. It's borderline ridiculous, has her swatting his arm or shooting him a glare on a daily basis. But as the days go by, their impending 'date' growing closer, his excitement becomes even more contagious.

She hasn't looked forward to something this much since... well, since before her mother was murdered. Even her looming status as detective, her quick climb through the ranks and growing favor from Captain Montgomery in Homicide, doesn't cause her heart to flutter quite as fiercely as Rick Castle does lately.

Her excess time in Vice has been helping speed along the process, her natural instincts as a cop overshadowing her ability to fill out a skimpy dress. Much to Castle's delight. But her path to detective is driven by death, by a grim motivation that sits like an open wound in her chest, one she continues to sprinkle salt into. This thing with Castle, though... it's good and pure and sheds light into the darker parts of her, tends to her wounds whether she wants it to or not.

It's been over nine months since he started shadowing her and they're about to have their first date, but she thinks she may already be in love with him.

The thought makes her stomach turn, a conflicting sensation of nausea to the butterflies humming along her ribcage. She's so damaged, such a difficult person to care about (even her father is struggling in that department lately, almost as much as he struggles with his sobriety), and if she wasn't so selfish, she would force Castle out of her life like she should have three months ago. Spare them both some inevitable pain.

But the heart wants what it wants and she's willing to risk what's left of hers for him.

* * *

"Pick you up at seven," she told him when they parted ways at the station that afternoon, her voice a glorious husk in his ear before she abandoned him on the sidewalk for the subway.

His heart skipped - the grin on her lips, the spark in her eyes, setting it on fire. He doesn't think he's ever seen Kate this excited for anything.

Kate. He gets to call her that now. Not all the time, not in front of her colleagues, definitely not in front of her superiors, but in the moments he gets alone with her - boxed inside an elevator together, quiet mornings in the break room when he's delivering her coffee, lunches and dinners at Remy's, or after school dates with his daughter (his ten year old daughter who's almost as infatuated, as in love with Kate, as he is. Because, yeah, he's stopped trying to deny that last part) - he revels in the use of her first name on his lips.

He's head over heels for Kate Beckett and he finally gets to take her out on a date. Rick bounces with excitement at the reminder as he tries to get ready. He's letting Kate set the tone for the night, letting her decide where they go and what they do. It goes against all of his instincts, his overwhelming desire to charm her, but he's just grateful she hasn't found a reason to back out of this, that she still seems to _want_ him; he's not going to risk screwing that up.

He does wish that he at least had an idea of what to wear, though.

"Daddy, why are you so nervous?" Alexis asks, standing in his closet doorway with an inquisitive smile.

Castle rocks back on his heels, dressed in just a t-shirt and jeans while he weighs the rest of his options. Nine months and he can't figure out if she's likely to be a casual or fancy first date type of girl. She's always surprising him.

"I'm not nervous," he huffs, but Alexis's smile merely morphs into a smirk. Something she undoubtedly picked up from Kate.

"Is it because you're going out with Kate tonight?"

He scoffs and plucks a blue button down from the hanger. She seems to like it when he wears blue. "No, why would I be nervous? We go out with Kate all the time."

"But this is your first _real_ date," Alexis grins, hanging from the side of the doorframe by one arm. "And you have a huge crush on her."

"Pretty sure that's common knowledge at this point," he deadpans, holding up a tie. "Too formal?"

Alexis wrinkles her nose. "Yeah. Ooh, wear plaid! Kate likes it when you wear plaid."

He pauses, glancing back to his daughter in curiosity. "And how do you know this."

"Because she smiles real big and looks at you with heart eyes when you do," Alexis says so matter of factly, her tongue peeking through the gap of two recently lost teeth. "Plus, you always look nice in plaid."

Solid reasoning.

"Thank you, Pumpkin." He replaces the blue button down for the plaid one Kate's seen him in before. If it's too casual, she'd just tell him at the door, right?

"Hey, Dad?"

"Yes?" He slips his arms through the sleeves, notices Alexis watching him with a hint of hesitance that wasn't there before. Or maybe it was, she was just hiding it from him. A habit he's trying to break her of.

"Is Kate... different?" his daughter inquires, but he doesn't quite understand the question.

"Different?"

"Yeah, like... from Mommy and Gina," Alexis hedges, growing flustered and causing her cheeks to turn as red as her hair. "I mean, I just - I like Kate. She's so nice and cool and she makes you so happy, happier than you ever looked with Gina," she admits, chewing on her lip. Another Beckett habit. "I just don't want it to be the same with Kate. I don't want her to disappear."

Shit, both he and his kid are way too invested in this woman. But he's far more worried about his daughter, about her fragile heart being broken again. He could survive it, but Alexis... how many people can she lose due to his thoughtlessness before she finally decides to stop trusting altogether?

Rick swallows, but steps towards the closet's entryway, wrapping an arm around Alexis's shoulders.

"Alexis, you know that even if Kate and I didn't work out like me and your mom, or me and Gina, you could still see her whenever you want, right?" he tries to assure her. "I know she cares about you. She'd never just disappear."

Not like everyone else.

She sighs, leaning into his side. "I know. Kate told me that too."

"She - she did?" When did she even have the chance to-

"I just like you guys together," Alexis murmurs with a shrug of her shoulders against his waist. "I like her with us."

"Me too, Pumpkin." He runs a hand through her hair. "But you know this really is our first real date. Even if Kate does fall madly in love with me, I still plan to take it really slow. No marriage or-"

" _No_ ," Alexis agrees, drawing back from his with a raised index finger aimed at him. "No more marriages until you're absolutely, positively, one hundred percent sure that it's the last time you'll ever get married."

Castle's eyebrows rise with amusement. "Yes, ma'am."

"Besides," Alexis adds, the stern expression on her face softening with apparent relief at his response. "Third time's supposed to be the charm, so it should be the last."

"Good point," he concurs, already hoping like an idiot in too deep too soon that Kate could be his last.


	4. Chapter 4

She's been to the loft enough times in the past few months to be familiar with it, but she's never spent much time inside despite Castle's ample requests. Way too dangerous of a temptation. But it feels different now, standing outside his door, here to retrieve him for a date.

Kate knocks on the door before her nerves can get the better of her.

She's pleasantly surprised by the sound of skipping feet approaching on the other side, her heart easing at the idea of seeing the little girl she may be just a little too attached to. The girl and her father both, if she's being honest with herself.

The door creaks open and Kate's apprehension is immediately soothed by the greeting of Alexis Castle's toothy grin.

"Hi, Kate!" Alexis smiles, holding the door open wide and sweeping her eyes over Beckett from head to toe. "You look so pretty!"

"Oh, thanks," Kate chuckles, smoothing a hand along the hem of her sweater. She debated on the idea of dressing up for him, taking him somewhere upscale and expensive, but he sees her done up in dresses and too much makeup all too often these days. It's either that or in her usual police uniform, which he seems equally appreciative of.

There will be times in the future for fancy dinners and pretty dresses, she's allowed herself to believe, but for tonight, she just wants it to be simple, easy. To just be them.

"And Dad will be so relieved," Alexis adds with a hint of amusement that has Kate arching an eyebrow.

"He will?"

Alexis nods emphatically. "He was really stressed trying to pick out the perfect outfit earlier."

A laugh bubbles from Kate's lips, loud and bright and drawing him out from what she assumes is his bedroom.

"Hey, you're here," he smiles automatically, the corners of his eyes crinkling with it as he strides through the office doorway.

"Hey," she replies, sweeping her gaze over his frame. "Good look, Castle."

"Oh, thank y-" He cuts his eyes to Alexis, sighs as his daughter starts to giggle and causes Kate to relapse into laughter. "You just _had_ to tell her, didn't you?"

"I was just saying how much you care about looking nice for her!" Alexis defends, turning towards her father with that broad smile still in place and her arms open to wrap around him. "And," she adds a little quieter. "You made the right choice. Look how big she's smiling."

Castle's eyes flicker up to Kate, catching the softening grin on her lips before she can tamp it down.

"Thanks, Alexis," he murmurs, cupping the back of her head. "Gram is still upstairs, right?"

"Yep! But she already took off her makeup so we can do beauty masks, so she said she isn't coming down until you leave," Alexis informs him, glancing back to Kate over her shoulder. "And she told me to tell you both to have a good time and don't do anything she wouldn't do."

"Of course," Castle sighs, bending to press a kiss to the top of his daughter's head. "In that case, we're off for the night. But if you need _anything-_ "

"Gram and I will be fine, Dad," Alexis insists, pushing him along while Kate remains in the doorway, watching the exchange with something warm blooming in her chest.

Seeing the stark contrast in how Richard Castle interacts with his daughter compared to the rest of the world was the first thing to convince her that this isn't the same playboy who was once plastered across Page Six. His priorities aren't the fame or the money. No, he's just a man with a vulnerable heart that's dedicated to the small circle of those he loves, a heart he protects more than he lets on.

It makes her wonder how often his heart has been broken, why he's so willing to risk it happening all over again with her.

"I love you," he's calling back over his shoulder once Alexis abandons him for the stairs. She stops on the first step to reply.

"Love you too, Dad. See you later, Kate."

Kate shoots her a smile, a wave of her fingers. "See you, Lex."

"Lex," he sighs as his daughter continues her trek up the stairs, leaving them downstairs, alone for the first time. "Too mature for her."

"She likes having a nickname," Kate defends, feeling her heart skip anxiously as he approaches. He _does_ look good in plaid, she notes, the subtle combination of reds and greys blending nicely over his chest. He looks warm and inviting, makes her want to curl up against him.

The date hasn't even started yet.

"So, what is it you have planned for me this evening, Officer?" he picks up, joining her in the doorway. His eyes stray to flutter over her once more, so alight and... happy, so genuinely and brilliantly happy. If she can make him look like that, maybe it's all worth it - the risks, the potential for heartache, the fights they're destined to have. Maybe it's always been worth it to love him without inhibition or fear, to let him love her back. "You really do look beautiful, by the way."

Kate sighs, reaching for the lapel of his shirt and tugging him towards her. His brow arches at the touch, the draw of his body towards hers, into hers, but she doesn't have the patience to explain, to wait anymore.

"Beckett," he murmurs, poised directly in front of her. Those bright eyes scan her face in question, a hint of concern, before they dip to her mouth.

With her heels giving her a few extra inches, the tilt of her head is all it takes to brush her nose along his cheek, skim her lips along his jaw.

His breath catches, but he leans into her, forehead grazing hers in a kiss. "Kate?"

"I've been waiting for months," she mumbles, all she needs to say for him to stop talking.

Her palm drapes at his cheek, initiating the curve of his hand at her waist. It's the first time she's felt the heat of his touch searing through her clothes, infiltrating the flesh beneath; it has her dizzy, swaying through the breath of distance left between them. Her lips whisper over his and her heart stops and starts again in a way that makes every risk feel so infinitely worth it.

His kiss is gentle, a tentative caress that has her heart skipping before he slides a hand into her hair, cradles her skull and fits his mouth against hers with purpose. Castle doesn't push, letting her lead, keeping it soft and on the surface despite the brush of her tongue along the seam of his lips.

She wants more of him, all of him, and kissing him only confirms it for her.

Kate curls her fingers at his ear, stroking her thumb along the shell, and lowers her forehead back to rest against his. This wasn't the plan - not that she necessarily had a plan, but kissing him before they even left the loft never would have been part of it - but she doesn't regret it, not when she can feel his heart thundering beneath the hand she's allowed to fall against his chest. Not when she's been denying herself the guilty pleasure of kissing him for the last three months.

"That was amazing," he breathes, drawing his hands down her sides. "Can we do it again?"

Kate rolls her eyes, feeling his smile blossom against hers, but nods. "After."

"This is already the best first date ever," he sighs, wistful as he eases back to see her. "Do you even want to go out? We could just stay here, make out all night on my couch-"

"Castle," she huffs, shoving on his chest, but it does little to dissolve his smile. "We actually need to get going if we want to make the movie."

"Ooh, we're going to see a movie?" He snags his keys from a table beside the door, ushers her out into the hall so he can lock it.

"They're playing Forbidden Planet at the Angelika-"

His gasp nearly startles her, stops them short in his hallway. "You're a fan of Forbidden Planet?"

"It's only one of the best movies of all time," she shrugs, watching his excitement grow. He looks like he may combust at any second.

"Best date. Best kiss. Best girlfriend-"

"I am not your girlfriend," she mutters, but he's catching her hand as they start down the hall, wiggling his fingers through hers with ease.

"Partner then," he muses, bumping her thigh with their tangled hands.

But the word rings true, sums him up well, and has her heart buzzing with promise. Kate fits her palm a little more snugly against his.

"Partners."


End file.
